Generosity doesn’t always look the way you think it will
May 21, 2010Generosity is good.
Generally.
Sometimes you can be generous in ways that, ultimately, aren’t really helpful or desired.
And you can be generous in ways that, unwittingly, handicap the person you’re trying to help.
Generosity CAN sometimes hurt more than it helps.
“Helicopter” parents do this when they oversee or manage their children’s lives too tightly, leaving them little room to learn how to make good decisions, to be resilient, and learn from mistakes, to test and discover who they really are and who they want to become.
Similarly, micromanagers can have the same long-term effect on employees whom they over-supervise and can, ultimately, stifle.
Such managers may think they’re helping employees when they:
- Oversee employees’ work closely
- “Correct” work that’s not done exactly how the manager would do the work him/herself, even if it is within customers’ guidelines and quality standards
- Guess or assume what customers want, rather than to verify or correct
Real generosity – that with a long-term view – can show up in actions such as:
- Clarifying who your customers are and what they want
- Using customers’ priorities to guide decision-making
- Defining and refining work processes
- Communicating clearly
- Following up to ensure that actions being taken will meet customers objectives and company promises to them…or will manage the gap in performance to goals until it can be closed
- Teaching employees how to do all these things, themselves
Perhaps the reason that “helicopter” parents and microscopically managing managers aren’t generous from the perspective of others’ long-term development is that:
- They fear not being needed
- They miss doing the work themselves
- They feel more comfortable when work is done the way they want it done, despite what customers want
- They want accolades and approval (and their bonuses, yes) gained by producing immediate results more than they want accolades and approval for long-term team development and employee growth…and the increased results that come with it
If you recognize yourself as (like it or not) a micro manager, here are ways you can learn to be more generous in ways that develop employees for long-term improvement and results, along with meeting short-range goals, too.
1. Be clear about your objectives, as a manager and “people developer.”
2. Be clear about your objectives for employees. Talk with employees so standards and goals are clearly known.
3. Teach employees how to monitor and correct their own performance, using measures and performance-to-standard or performance-to-goal feedback mechanisms.
4. Follow good follow-up practices.
5. Notice when you’re most likely to dive into the tight oversight mode, or to start to swoop and redo work that’s perfectly fine from a customers’ perspective. Catch yourself and your behavior before the pattern goes too far.
6. Pre-plan actions you can take to divert yourself from your normal swoop-and-redo mode.
7. Understand when employees are just doing something differently than you might choose to do, but are meeting customers’ requirements.
In these cases, you’re often far better off letting them learn from the experience of making decisions, giving their approach or idea a try, and learning from the results.
8. Recognize your own progress and development as you learn to let go – and often, in the process, get better overall results from the people in your company or group.
Consider, also, the many ways you can be generous.
These are ways you can help the people you’re guiding to learn more and grow in confidence, technical and people skills, and produce increasingly improved results.
Consider this list of possibilities. How can you be more generous with:
- Time?
- Attention?
- Money?
- Teaching or mentoring?
- High quality listening?
- Praise?
- Advice?
- Demonstrating use of your own talents?
- Enthusiasm?
- Honesty?
- Being present, and sometimes silently, as an employee learns to assess his or her own work and customer satisfaction results accurately?
Learn to be generous in all the ways that really count…now, and for the long-range, too.
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